Grateful for Hair Pulling? Are You Kidding?
Can you imagine looking
at trichotillomania as a GIFT? How absurd! Is
she crazy?
For the first 25 years of my pulling I couldn't see how to look upon my behavior
with anything other than scorn and revulsion. In my 26th year as a hair puller
something shifted.
I began to see my hair pulling as a gift from which I could grow. For 25 years
I had spent every minute trying to not think about it. I'd think, "Maybe
it'll just go away." or "Maybe I can control it today." When
suddenly and inexplicably the urge to pull was gone I'd think, "Maybe
it's gone. Maybe it's finally gone for good." But I was always afraid
that it would return. And sure enough it
always did.
After I began to journal on a regular basis, I discovered that I was strong
enough to begin to look directly at my hair pulling. I began to wonder what
it so persistently was trying to tell me. I stopped fearing it and became curious
about it. In retrospect, I can see that by this time in my process, my healing
journey was well underway.
"(But) In relation to the symptom itself, observance means first of all
listening and looking carefully at what is being revealed in the suffering?"
--Thomas Moore, Care of the Soul
Are you willing to openly look at "what is being revealed in your suffering?"
The following are questions you may not have previously considered asking yourself.
-
List 5 beliefs that keep you trapped as a victim of hair pulling.
- List 5 ways you hoped you would be magically rescued from it.
- Are you willing to experiment with changing these imprisoning beliefs? Why, why not?
In closing:
"The feelings and parts of ourselves that we have repressed do not go away
just because we don't want them. They are necessary parts of us, parts we actually
need for our survival. If they are not allowed their natural expression, they
go underground and fester inside of us, building up steam, needing eventual release.
If we do not find ways to express them, they begin to "leak out" in
distorted ways. . . Anything in life that we don't accept will simply make trouble
for us until we make peace with it."
--Shakti Gawain
Making peace with your hair pulling is a process. Honor yourself by not expecting
instantaneous results. If you are open, you will begin to shift your perspective.
Don't ever forget, healing is a journey to be cherished not rushed.
Join me on the other side of hair pulling!
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